a little lonely...

Just because
I'm that age,
I'm a little lonely.

I was so busy for so long.
School, marriage,
raising babies, then toddlers,
then school aged, then young adults.

Struggling along the way.

Working, buying a house,
starting a business,
loosing a business,
looking for work, working.
Wishing the struggle wasn't so much.
Wishing we played more and worried less.

Now children have grown up,
have flown the coop.

On their own.
They are so busy now.

So many times I longed for peace and quiet
Now it is too much.

I do really appreciate the calm. Really.
But going through a week and another week without them,
after spending most of my life with them,

watching them grow in body, mind, and creativity,
after most of my life working for and with them,
trying so hard, a little success here and there.

It's lonely.
How did I get here from there?
I miss them.

I do have the garden.
More watering to do.
More birds to feed.
I have dogs to brush.

More calm and quiet.