January 25, 2011

Darn Birds


You thought you'd never hear me say it:

DARN BIRDS!

Buying 25 lbs of birdseed a month was a drag,
but look what we got in  return:

Wonderful views of 
beautiful wildlife 
right outside our window!















We're now watching piggie sparrows feast on
thistle meant for gold finches,
seeds for quail and house finches,
sunflowers and peanuts for jays.

PIGS!

THE AUDACITY!!
And finally they are going for

THE SUET!

The suet is for
 the towees, robins, chickadees
and titmouses gol-darn it!

Solution?
No one is gettin' nothin'.

So now,
with no wildbird seed at all
outside our kitchen window:

the quail and sparrows
who do not give up easily
are digging in our new lawn.

Now the beautiful view right outside our kitchen window is
stupid piggie birds tearing up the grass.

So, listen up stupid sparrows,
quarrelling quail!
No one is getting nothin'!
The honeymoon's over!
Foe-gedda 'bout it!
Hit the road!
It's the end of the line!
The party's over! 
That bird has flown the coop!

We quit feeding the birds.

Then, finally, every bird was gone.

GONE!

The chickidees were chee-cheeing for suet, poor things,
they and the titmouses were always last to dine.
So I sneaked outside to dab a tiny dollop of peanut butter on a pine cone.

Guess who was back in 5 minutes, I'm not kidding:

BIG FEATHERY PIGS! 

Gosh darn birds!


2 comments:

roo-me said...

no no no!
you can't close the diner just because the crowd got unruly!

House Dreams said...

We're going to try a new gadget to keep sparrows away, but let the little birds feed....here's hoping!