Never again would I make those blurty mistakes that get me into trouble.
Someone asks me how I am.
I tell them, forgetting that this is simply social chatter,
not a query into my inner struggles.
Everyone always wanted me to be quiet, don't tell, don't see.
I was easily riled.
Society resented me and my blurting outrage:
I should be sorting it out in my own head!
Just like learning to read silently in school,
instead of out loud.
That was so very difficult for me.
In my senior year and then at college I broke out.
I said my piece with abandon,
I participated in discussions and arguments.
I found I had something to say.
Others agreed. An amazing realization!
It's really, really hard for me to be quiet.
I'll learn, I'll continue trying, I'll work on it.
Each time I blow it, I'll learn and try again.
I wish it didn't matter, that I didn't have to think about it, but it does, so I guess I do.
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