Re: Sewing Machine

I can't use it yet.

Don't know why, but that's the way I am.
I can't use brand new things.

I have to wait, to get my head around the purchase.
I have to analyze the reasons behind the purchase and then agonize over my foolish decision. Then I have to argue the point by remembering the initial choice.

Soon I'm obsessed on whether or not this has been a prudent expenditure, seeing as I'm a lazy and unwise person. My decision is ridiculous because I know I am a wastrel and I know I won't use the item often enough to equal the value of money spent. I either don't sew enough (as in this case) or I don't dress up enough to deserve it (a dress or sweater) or it will end up being the wrong thing no matter how much research I've done. Bad fit, poor choice, not used, too glamorous (a big sin according to the mothers) and worst of all, I'll shrink it. Always ends up shrunk no matter how I try to remember to wash in cold. And the inevitable, I'll stain it or BREAK it!!

After a few weeks, possibly months, when I've become accustomed to the thing, be it clothes, food, container, blanket or furniture, the sight of it will no longer bathe me with shame, the shapes and colors will fade like bleached shells. the dread will slowly be forgotten, the self torture will have waned.

I will view it in a new light:

Buyer's remorse slipping away, like a mist over a creek.
Friend instead of Fiend.
Just sitting in that corner beginning to look familiar.
"Oh, yes, THAT dress,
that's a nice dress,
I might wear that to church."

That's just how I do it.
Always have, always will.

So for now I'm ignoring the sewing machine.
Maybe it's not the correct one for my needs,
then I'll have failed miserably,
yet again, maybe it will be fine,
perhaps perfect.

Waiting a few months will ease the shock.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~