A.D.D.D.

Take one neurotic dog.

One neurotic Golden Retriever.

One neurotic Golden Retriever with too much Irish Setter mixed in.

Take one N.G.R.I.S. with attention deficit doggie disorder and tell me what you've got:

insanity.

Gorgeous insanity leaning with one foot on your foot gazing lovingly with big, dark, brown eyes.

Favorite pastimes of said dog:

Snacks.

Riding in the truck to work while gazing lovingly at the owner,

with one eye on the lunch bag.

Watching owner at work.

Sneaking the lunch.

Seeing birds fly over the truck.

Napping, but ready to LEAP up if owner even thinks of getting up.

Dinner.

Gazing lovingly with a paw on owner's foot after dinner.

Laying and sleeping close to napping owner.

Dog bisquits.

Getting ears scratched.

Getting brushed.

Did I mention food?

Food which may drop from plates on the way to the dishwasher.

Dislikes of said dog.

Owner leaving dog alone!!!

Even with a Basset Hound auntie for company!

What to do when left alone:

Rush out through the dog door to see last glimpse of departing owner.

Grab ANYTHING on the counters, sinks, tables, and recycling and drag it outside through the dog door and chew.

This includes:

Coffee grinds in the filter.

Coffee beans in the sealed bag.

A jar of jam, lid firmly on.

Peanut butter with a plastic lid which can be chewed off. (oh, yum!)

The compost container with compost including black banana

Bars of soap from the bathroom.

Crumpled paper towels from the waste basket.

ANY FOOD ITEM LEFT UNATTENDED!

Eat most of these items.

Leave the rest in special spot on the lawn with great shame,

knowing full well that the owner will find the evidence sooner or later.

Poor dog.

She has a motto:

"I want to be good, I want to be good, I want to be good, but I can't."