Baking Eludes Me Once Again

Many hands make light work? These hands mainly make messes.

Baking eludes me. Too much chemistry,

mix equal amounts of salt and baking POWDER, not baking SODA!
Too much careful measuring for me and that is not my forte.

Because with ounces, milliliters or teaspoons there is the age old problem: calculation.
Remember those classes that someone else took?

Calculus

Trigonometry

Statistics

There are good reasons to skip that entire section of math, which I did, as well as Trig. Which I think stands for trigonometry...or tringinominy or trichinoscopy...one of those trichs or trigs.

No idea at all what trigonometry might be. It's a blank in my head. Blanker than electricity floating invisibly inside those plug outlet things in the wall.

As for Triptych, this I know.
I KNOW what that means in art.

(Basically, it means 3 pieces s in one work. Does trig have something to do with 3?

It must because of the tri in front of the word...but 3 what? 3 math problems?

Maybe 3D?

Congruent is a math word that is art. So is Geometry:

Math with drawings, congruent circles being a drawing of 2 circles going around each other very equally, but not like planets .

Does matter hold the earth together, you wonder?

No...that's bonds. Not stocks and bonds, just bonds.

They are magical things which keep the H2 with the O.

Now what's the matter?

Oh yeah, we're learning about matter which is the earth and we're perplexed.

Matter is actually stuff. 'Stuff" is a clearcut definition for matter, because stuff creates actual things, like ice cream. Can you believe that? Dessert is matter. And that does matter, at least in Science.

Einstein had an idea: E=MC 2 which is abbreviated from the Latin, I believe, meaning Energy equals mass squared @ the speed of light.

Something like that.

(I don't know what use Einstein's theory relativity was,

but for possible answers, take a calculus class.)

I hate to tiptoe away from the mass subject,but...

Frankly, mass is a completely other problem, we may want to avoid it.

Mass and Matter matter to scientists because most things have mass and are matter.

Except, of course, space which really, when you think about it, has nothing...except space junk left from all of mankinds' little projects, for instance projecting missile-like items for war and launching rockets for space exploration. All this stuff floating around space which is a vacuum.

But the space-type-of-vacuum is nothing like the housewifes'.

(Housewives? Let's not get into spelling or grammar, scientists have someone else work on that part.)

Because they go all oblongish, the missiles I mean, not the vacuum cleaners. Although it's possible the air could be spinning dust in a parabola, but we'll never know because it all happens inside a vacuum cleaner bag.

Parabolas themselves go up and over and down again in an oblong type of shape in graphing if you use strange number problems like:

-a x + 4y = _?

Now make a nice graph with all the answers to that problem and put them on the xy axis. Anyone know what that's all about? The graphing, I mean. It makes a cute little drawing which is almost an Easter Egg shape, if you chopped off the end.

DO NOT EVEN SPEAK of 2a+3b- 13x = 21ab!

That is verboten!

(in the German, this translates as: No Way, Jose!)

Excuse me, what was I talking about ?

Oh, now I remember: cooking. Baking to be exact, baking is a subcategory of cooking, as an invertebrate is a subcategory of the Animal Kingdom which has another , molluscus molluscus (sp? def?)which can mean: gooey. I believe it is a quite specific species like a snail or a shell creature from the sea called a nautilus due to it's being nautical.

(imagined shell creatures, by J.H.)

Sail boats are nautical things which is a terrifying mode of travel.

Sail boats depend on wind. This is what you want for all your vacations? No! Not to mention that those boats can tip over in a bottomless mass

(or is it matter?)

of H2O plus salts and seal scat; i.e. the organic soup of life...or at least it was when the world was really hot and newly imploded.







(some sea creature, but not a nautilus!)

Back to scat. Is it still called scat if it's in the ocean? When I think of scat I think of foxes and deer and owls and I understand scientists study their scat for scientific reasons of their own and of course they (the animals, not the scientists) although scientists do live on land.

What I'm trying to say, what I'm talking about is living on solid, dry, safe land. Land which is really salts, minerals and decaying microorganisms like diatomaceous earth made of little tiny eeny creatures' exoskeletons, so small you can't see them w/o a radioactive microscope. (radioactive or maybe radiowattive?)...like x-ray, but that is a specialty subject in pre-med in graduate school which is school for those who graduated from school already. Students, you know, for instance, studying isotopes. Don't get me going on isotopes or electrons for heaven's sake!!

Now I'm really mixed up and I've misplaced the thesis statement which had something to do with the incredible mess I make when I bake masses of little church breads as my own little way of doing service in my church. Even though I'm usally a week or 2 late. Luckily they keep some extra in the freezer. (probably my old church breads that were late!) This time when I delivered my bread, mostly on time, there was another church goer saying, "Oh, I made bread today, too!" This had me doubting my sanity, but gaining faith that fellow congregators were pitchin' in w. the bread dilema.

So I baked bread while T. helped me concentrate. (too many fractions of tea spoons and and table for me alone! By the way which is a tablespoon? TBSP or tsp?) I actually did create church bread with molassessses and honey...bread! as opposed to rubber discs.

At this time Danny Kaye enters stage left, singing:

"So now, my friends, since we started the picture in the middle of the picture, we will end the picture in the middle of the picture,"

pause for emphasis,

... en vocce basso profundo:

(please let's absolutely NOT discuss vocal music symbols! PLEASE!)

"This is the ENNNDD!!!"