Knitting ~ Crocheting ~ Shibori-ing

Knitting is all the rage.
It was in the old days, too.
Much less expensive than buying yarn when you can buy sweaters for $9.99.
So why knit?

There basically are only 2 kinds of stitches, knit and purl. They are actually the same stitch, but one is backwards. Casting on gets you started, casting off is the big finish. Go ahead and crochet afterwards if you feel like it, around the blanket to make a frame-ish edge to it.

My mom knit an incredibly complex baby blanket for my first born. She had 30 or 40 index cards, one for each complicated row, in order to keep count of all the fancy stitches. Then she began all over with card 1. My mother-in-law crocheted the 2nd baby's blanket in the hospital when her daughter was having major surgery. 3rd one got the cutest patchwork blanket, knit and crocheted.

I can't knit with directions.

I have no patience for counting

stitches or rows!!

DO NOT tell me, "You can do it, just go slowly and carefully."
DO NOT ask me to pick up dropped stitches!
NEVER, EVER suggest that I pull it all out and start over!!!

My way is easier and more fun.
Cast on a bunch of stitches, stretch it out or wrap the yarn up in a knot as you proceed. Dropped a stitch? Find the runaway and pull it and loop it over the knitting needle any old where. Tug it back in place. So what if the blanket has a couple of puckers or some odd flopping corner. Holes are cool! 90 degree angles are overrated.

If something gets really out of control, simply tie yarn ends to prexisting knitting to anchor it down. Same for increasing and decreasing...if I do it correctly, fine, if I don't, oh, well! Later you can crochet or embroider over any unsightly parts, but why would you want to? Weirder is better!
(I have my B.A. in Fine Art, so I should know! My painting teacher's favorite work was a board that was covered in blotches and drippy drools of oil painted in blaechhcky rotten colors that looked like someone barfed on it, but I digress...)

Look! Lots of increasing and then a bunch of decreasing, dropping stitches everywhere, picking them up somewhere else!
Yippee! What suddenly appears?... a big lumpy gathered area.
Great! Dig the needles into a purl and keep adding stitches each time you pass by and eventually you'll create a weird little button-hole thingie.
Add stitches, add more stitches, add, add, add.
(that's looking a little like Attention Deficit Disorder, don't you think?)
Then subtract, subtract, subtract. Puffy, lacy stuff unfolds in my hands. I'm just the vessel, there must be some angel with some weird ideas on my shoulder.

So my blankets come out kinda funny.

Let's not forget that clever Japanese technique called Shibori.
I guess some people can create Shibori in a neat organized way. My way is a chaotic free-for-all! My muse launches me into a frenzy; urging lots of stuffing and poking, pushing odd objects into the cool, damp, woolen machine-knitted rectangle, twisting tightly, tying with baker's string, weaving other wool bits in and around and over, then basting and gathering it up. Then a lot of sewing up and around the piece. Now time to put the whole soppy mess into the drier! Then untie the bumpety puffs! Pull and pinch at the thing until its stretched out and curving over limply.

Who knows what you'll get, but probably you'll have a kind of wet, paint-y looking linear smears, dreadslocks of knotted fringes, and poofie strange lumps of 3-D yarn pops-outs.

Some people create neat geometric bubbles in simple tones and end up with a scarf. I end up with: "Party Dress #4".

Some people mindfully make lovely afghans. Me? I have to swiftly finish "Curvilinear~Foot-Warmer~Blanket" during a jazz drummer's college recital. Hurry up! Tie it off, stick the finishing needle in the wobbly blanket bottom that has become the foot warmer pockets. QUICK!...so that afterwards, I can wear the thing like a cape into the cold night air. A little stick by the wandering needle keeps it exciting.

It was dark, no one saw me.