oh dear, more animals

Do you have a basset? If you don't, don't you wish you did!? Well ok, here are the pros and the cons:

They may have stinky oily fur and bad breath, but often the fur is like velvet, especially the ear leather! "Bassets ears are very lengthy and feel velvety against your skin." http://www.families-first.com/pets/bassett.htm .

Sometimes they wander away because they're busily sniffing the latest trail. ("Where on earth did that snail go last night?" "Is there a new moldy apple in the trash heap?")

They can howl and wimper until you're losing your mind, then beg and drool at the table. (and that's only because one owner drops bits of meat on the floor in order to quiet the whining.)

Sometimes they have allergies to grass and have to take several pills several times a day. And sometimes they are sooooooooooo sensitive that they must take a tranquilizer before heading to the vet's for a nail trim. And sometimes they are very picky and affronted about eating their special expensive doctor prescribed anti allegy kibble without a meat bit in the bowl.

When you call "COME!" the basset hound may not come, but rather keep wandering along, thinking. They are thinking a lot about "COME". Thinking it over to see if it really is such a good idea to abandon the quail trail and head inside. Finally after lots of shouted commands, many hand signals, desperate head bobbing, and even a little chasing , a rattle of kibble in the dish, might do the job.

Bassets gaze lovingly at their owners with wisdom and compassion oozing forth...or perhaps she is just sniffing your breath to identify the dinner that she could not partake in due to her allergies!

A basset hound wisely checks for snakes in the grass before bed, scritching and scratching at the hall rug for 5 or 10 minutes for safety's sake. With the all clear, she transitions to bed-choice time. Commonly there are 5 or 6 exclusive spots for naps, sleeping, or rest. These are the "Islands of the Basset". Which island will she choose tonight? Probably the master bed in which the masters teeter restlessly on the egde while said basset lies crossways, kicking every so often with their big, soft paws if encroached upon. (paws that would look great on an old claw foot bathtub!)

Deigning to put up with continual patting and stroking, this dog will surely stimulate interesting conversation. Caution: inviting more than one basset owner for dinner at a time may leave no room for other talk. Bassets cause owners to chitter chatter too darn much in social situations, exchanging one funny escapade after another, dulling a party down to giggling idiocy.

One magazine described the serious illnesses of pure bred dogs such as diabetes, cancer and urinary tract problems. While I feel for the Golden owner as well as the Chow owner, there cannot be a more serious defect for inbred basset hounds than the "Bubble Boy" Syndrome. More research must be done!

I'll go check out the internet to discover more basset trivia while the dog snores mightily, kicking out every so often at the poor person who is trying to sleep rolled too close to the middle of the bed!

Finally, amends to the college coed who adoringly petted the dear basset, cooing "how cute!". A delighted basset pranced, drooled and shook her head with great flapping of ears, lips and flews (http://www.akc.org/breeds/basset_hound/index.cfm) in her excitement, unfortunatley depositing basset spittle in her neatly coiffed hair. So sorry, we just couldn't find a way to tell you.