Church or Not?

Organized Religion? Or Chaos?

Disorganized religion sounds good to me! What else really works? Church every Sunday?

Church clothes neat and tidy?

Smiles in place?

Giving each week according exactly to the 10% tithe?

Giving my time regularly.

It sounds so good to me!

No chance.

Back to my reality:

Attire: chaotic.
Attendance: spotty.
Attitude: lazy.
Giving: haphazard.
Volunteering: iffy

But at my place of worship I am welcomed with open arms.
No guilt hovering over the place like smog.
Been there, done that, more than once.
Went home crying. Ashamed. Embarrassed. Sick to death.
Was I dirt, crawling with worms? Worthless?

My holy guy doesn't go for that.
Just check it out:

"DO NOT keep the children from me!" he chastised his main men.
"I came for the sick, not the righteous!" he lectured.
"Come on guys! If you're sticking with me, get some love going!"
Following strict rules of religion wasn't his thing.
He wanted the children of God to get it together.

"Listen, if the power of creation made us and our world, you guys better LOVE it all!

Those greedy ones...selling God's love on the steps of the worship hall?
Those really caught the hellfire and brimstone!
"What is this, a den of thieves! Right here on holy ground! Who ARE you people!"

The legalistic, pompous diplomats demanding compliance. Dotting all the i's, crossing all the t's...sickening!

Men of unreasonable wealth, loudly professing their allegiance to the mighty creator, swaggering in front of church, wearing the latest greatest designer togas, were chastised!

"The birds are dressed in God's finery! Get REAL!" he cried.
"Get rid of all your material stuff. Give it to someone who is starving, hopeless. It means nothing to you, it all disappears after your one life!"
Valuables are of no use when the time comes.
give up the useless, cold nothings in the vault. There is no value there. Giving, caring...store that up. That is valuable.

"Let's live happy and free. God is love. He made you. He is satisfied."

Learning to be loved by the guy I follow: that is enough.

Chaos is my life is my way.

Keeping it complicated is my motto.

Organization is my dilemma.

But there is no more shame. I am whole.

Learning to love is expected.